yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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