I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
