All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
