yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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