it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It was confusing and full of hummus
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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