I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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