Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
