Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
