Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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