Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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