Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
