Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
