Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
