I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
