he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
