i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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