Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
