You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
