the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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