I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
