wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
