Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
