PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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