Where are you?
In a non slutty way
barbara walters just said penis...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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