well I can't set my house on fire every night
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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