ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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