Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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