she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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