do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
