It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
