Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He better not be in your backpack
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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