Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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