I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
