I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
