I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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