Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
