Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
