East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Buhtt sex?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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