so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
