did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
pop tarts are not kleenex
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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