We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
