She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
this hospital has no fireball
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
