I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
