Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
