watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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