I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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