I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
