put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Randomize
