he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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