If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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