Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
