my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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