I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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