i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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