were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
