i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
