it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
