I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
