Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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