only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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