I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
