I bet he comes in French.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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